Tributes from Cousins

Tribute from Cousins

Having to write this tribute has been the hardest thing to do. For some of us, it feels like a part of us is left when we heard the news. Having to think about the experiences we shared and the reality that you are gone has been too painful. One thing we have all agreed on is that there are no words, at least not enough words to describe Andy, his love for us and his great achievements. We would need books for those tasks. 

To try our best to express who Andy was to us, meant to us, and how his absence has and will affect us, we have broken our tribute into themes:

1. Our bond and connection
2. Andy’s bond with us 
3. Andy’s impact

1. Our bond with Andy

Andy, our Charlottê and our ohhh geeeezzzz!, was our magnet. The one who attracted us all in different ways. Your personality type meant that you valued genuine connection with others and invested deeply in your relationships with us. We know this to be true because you loved us individually and cared enough to make the effort with every conversation we had, every family meet up and with every phone call. No one was ever left out with you. If someone was nowhere to be found, you will go looking for them. You made the effort to know us individually and as different as we all are, we connected with you and you with us. With Andy, there was no rich, nor poor, no young, nor old and no class system. He never discriminated but related to everyone on their level. That’s how easy going Andy was and we all loved that about him. 

All Andy had was 27. I can’t stress enough how difficult it is for us to accept that timeline but instead of dwelling on things we can’t control nor understand, we’d like to highlight some of his recent moments.

• December 2020, After Andy graduated top of his school. He was in touch not to announce 

is greatness but to check on our little cousins and ask what meal they would like to have for Christmas. This was someone planning for the kids to have an’ X’mas celebration miles away from Ghana. I was moved. He did not dally but sorted things out in a timely fashion. The kids asked, ‘So next Christmas will Andy buy food for us again?’ I responded, ‘of course he would, every year. It’s Andy.’ I used EVERY because he was always supposed to be around. We expected it.

• Another moment where he displayed his Selfless leadership was in June 2021, his birth month. We as siblings, have sessions on zoom to stay connected and on this particular family session, there was tension – the type you don’t want to be around for. I privately messaged Andy, ‘It’s getting out of hand, can you help?’ His response, ‘Don’t worry I’d take care of it.’ Before we knew it, one of the angry parties was singing in the zoom session. He turned a tense moment into a musical show. As young as he was, we knew he was the best person to diffuse the situation hence our go to guy for family matters. He was our glue.

We’ve looked through our phones to review our text exchanges and there’s nothing much there because it was always a phone conversation, with you it was always personal. You preferred to hear our voice and genuinely connect with us through our phone conversations. How can we forget the long conversations? It was never less than an hour Andy! And mostly us laughing, your laugh was so infectious. Andy had a calming effect; he could tell when one of us was getting upset and would always step in to calm us or take us away to cool off. He was the perfect gentleman. He would always offer to help, was never harsh towards us but instead, always gentle, and sweet. Your girls will miss your hugs, your hugs were the best. I will miss running to hug you when we meet at Heathrow to go to Ghana together. We will miss your love for music and occasionally catching you singing and dancing on your own. The song you always asked about will forever remind me of you, the one with the lyrics 

“You will do, Greater things in me,

 Greater is He, that is within me,

Than he that is in the world” 

• Greater by Jay Bryan

Birthdays will never be the same without you. Andy always calls on birthdays to wish us well, bless us and then catch up for about an hour or more. We will miss using your birthday as the perfect opportunity to return the birthday call and tell you how much we love you and express how much we admire and adore you. That meant a lot. Among us, Andy’s laugh was the most infectious. The moment we heard his laugh, we would all start laughing, it had that domino effect. We will miss how you would laugh at the slightest silly thing, and tease those of us who have motion sickness by saying, “those things, me I think they are all in the mind o!”. Who is going to keep saying “I’ve never seen some before”, or “those patapaa tings”? 

Although we’ve known Andy for 27 years, 2021 is and will be our most cherished with him. This year is unique because since Dec 2020, we as siblings meet every 2-3 months for what we call “Games Night”. A night where 3 teams/groups compete against one another in a series of games. Andy was in group C.  Through our interactions on games night, we realised;

• how competitive we are
• That none of us likes losing 
• How cool we all are 

Through these sessions, we observed personalities coming through, we’ve seen the quiet ones speak out, the observers expose those cheaters and of course, we’ve also experienced Andy. Andy prioritised Family Time and never missed a session. He would always turn up early to connect with the early birds. He was very interactive and would call his group members if they were late. He was very protective of Group C and would always argue for them and point out how unfair the assessment method was towards his group. He paid close attention to the segments about our heritage and culture and when it was his turn to facilitate Games night, he made it a point to focus on Bolga and our culture. 

The months of June and July are the most special because every weekend, until the week he passed away, we saw each other on zoom, for our ‘Get to know me segments’. These are one to one segments with our uncles and aunties, where we listen to them talk about their life, lessons learnt, ask questions and take advice. To prove to you how close we had become, after the 3-4 hour segments with our elders were over, a few of us would stay behind to reflect, express our thoughts, and just chat. We refer to these as our therapy sessions, and Andy was part of our therapy sessions. We thank God we had the opportunity to connect with you every weekend in our ‘Get to know me’ segments. The last one had you still connected to us while at the airport, driving and while having brunch on what looked like a busy day for you.

We will never forget our recent zoom call which lasted 8 hours. It was the most therapeutic session for those of us who stayed behind to chat. At the end of this session, he gave us sound advice on how to go about mending our broken relationships and stressed that it was always best to confront and deal with issues head on, than to run away from it and avoid it by being quiet. He agreed that the only way to be better is to do things better and differently. Andy exemplified Romans 14:19 which says “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification”. He was such a peace maker and this was reflected in our sessions with him. Andy cared like a brother, protected like a brother, made time for us like a brother. We are truly grateful to have had you as part of us, our bond. We are truly blessed to have a cousin like Andy, whom we call brother.

1. His bond with us 

The outspoken one, the man whose voice makes a difference in times of need and petty  quarrels. What a great guy you were! 

`Ugene!!“ “ Engineering Student !!, By this time you’re asleep ?”

Man, these words, last words, really exemplify how much of a presence Andy had in my life and what he represented.  For the younger cousins, Andy has been a driving force in nearly everything we have done and strive to do. He had a way of encouraging us to critically think and assess everything, he always made time for us and would motivate and impart wisdom as often as he could, all at the expense of his own energy and time. That’s the kind of person he was, always ready to give 110% to any cause and any individual. He was that one in a million individual who God conveniently drops into life, to grow and inspire a generation. Whenever we came home or spoke over the phone he would always ask about school, our chosen subjects, and current interests. He would then take time to research what I had told him and showed interest in it. We don’t come across many people like Andy in this world. I hardly do. He was one of a kind. We are extremely proud to have had you as, and called you, our role model, our yardstick, the embodiment of our aspirations, soaring higher and constantly raising the bar and setting the standard, a standard that we in your memory will tirelessly strive to uphold and push to immeasurable altitudes.

For those of us who have businesses, Andy would always call to check up and to find out how my business was doing. Though he was younger, he was full of wisdom and would share ideas to make our business better. The one thing everyone took from their interactions with Andy was that he’s someone that was destined for greatness, saying he was a special guy is an understatement, because our brother was special in many ways. He’d always say in an encouraging but joking way,” HE makes the money because we’ll need it for the campaign oh”. His dreams and goals will live on with us, in our accomplishments we will celebrate with him soul and in our tears may his spirit continue to uplift ours. 

Andy had a way of attracting and keeping people close to him. I remember how he’d visit me in university whenever he’d get the chance. One thing I don’t think he knew was the fact that I wasn’t in the best on places in my final year, I never expressed it but it was as if he knew, he’d call me to talk about life and we would always have a laugh, but I knew the call was just to check on me. I remember how he’d have conversations with my Chinese roommate at the time, this same roommate didn’t like a lot of my friends but would always ask “bro is your bro coming this weekend so I make sure he can take the chairs in our room to study for his exams “. The one thing everyone took from their interactions with Andy was that he’s someone that was destined for greatness, saying he was a special guy is an understatement, because my brother was special in many ways. He’d always say in an encouraging but joking way,” HE makes the money because we’ll need it for the campaign oh”. His dreams and goals will live on with us, in our accomplishments we will celebrate with him soul and in our tears may his spirit continue to uplift ours. I remember during our family zoom calls when we were in the same group, Team C and you were fighting for our team like never before, when Team A&B tried to cheat us, even though we were the rightful winners. The energy in our zoom game nights was unmatched. Will these meetings be the same without you?

Andy’s impact

Our cousin Andy’s passing has gutted us to our very core, a piece of us has left and it feels like our bond is broken, what a life to take! How do we move on without you? Without your laugh? Your calls? and love?

Andy, it is just difficult to accept that you are gone. What happens to the plan of you becoming the president of Ghana and one of us, a member of parliament? How about our visit to you in 2022? How about the recommendations you shared during our therapy sessions? How do we proceed without you? The month of June 2021 is a month we will forever cherish because every weekend with you in June was extra special; the atmosphere was trusting; the moments were intimate and the bond was strong. You are the magnet that connects us all together. Like a burning candle, you are still here and you will forever be.

We are truly thankful and grateful; 

• For the time and effort you made to connect with us.
• For every extra mile you took for us
• For every phone call you made on our birthdays.
• For every moment you encouraged us
• For always stepping in and offering to help
• For motivating us to be better
• For every moment you told us to calm down and not over react with anger
• For being our sweet and loving brother.

27 is all we got to celebrate with Andy. Class of 2020, you’ve lost your best student. Oh Achimota, a good one, a greater one has slipped through your fingers. Siblings/Family time is fantastic, our favourite bubbly cousin has parted from us. Ghana, you’ve lost your future president. Indeed, tomorrow we hope for is not promised. We must do and be all that we can today, while it still shines! For the night cometh when no one can work.

Andy, a brother to many and a friend to all. 

Your memories will live on through us and your slogan will always make an impact.

#Young, Gifted and Black

Andy as an uncle

Andy was awesome with Kids. I’ll never forget him narrating how one of the little ones did not like initially, and so he had a purpose in his heart and mind that he would make him like him by force. He and Yoni have been buddies ever since, with frequent voice exchanges between them while Andy was away. The phone calls and voice messages were not limited to us. He shared intimate and precious moments with the little ones as well. He would video call them to find out how they are, send them voice messages and when he was around them, he gave them all his attention. Yinbe was waiting for your call, she was waiting for your call because you always called on their birthdays. When Jasper was away you were often around to visit and play with the kids and buy them their usual ice cream.